You're On Your Own: Unwanted Same-Sex Attraction

 When I was a senior in high school, I worked at a daycare. It was a wonderful place and I absolutely adored the children. We worked with kids from 3 months old to 5 years old. I felt like each day, I was just flooded with love for these little people and their creative minds. I had always had a hard time disciplining them though. I wanted to show them a surplus of love especially when they were having a hard time. One little girl had the most difficult time paying attention. She was sweet as a puppy and had a heart of gold, but she just got distracted so easily. Her teacher got frustrated and after a few warnings, sent her to time out. Imminently after, however, that same teacher turned to me.

    She said, "Sylvie, don't you even think about comforting her. Don't hold her, rub her back, or console her. She needs to know that this is not okay!"

    This teacher knew I had a soft spot. Throughout the school year, I would have urges to comfort children. If one girl hurt her knee, I would rush over and hug her tightly. The teacher would tell me it wasn't bad and she was only making a big deal because she wanted attention. Over time, I stopped being the one to rush in with hugs and kisses with no reason other than a fear that my coworkers would frown upon me. Now, whether or not I or my teacher was in the right or wrong is not the point I am making in this scenario. The point I wanted to get across is that sometimes, help is taken away from people because of societal pressure and, I would even go as far to say, societal bullying.

    Before I continue on, I start with a disclaimer. I am a supporter of all people's rights. I don't support hate speech, discrimination, racism, chauvinistic behavior, anti-Semitism, or any other form of bullying. I love celebrating all humankind. We all have quirks and differences, but that should never take away from our responsibility to show compassion to one another.

    With that in mind, I want to tackle something that might be a little "touchy". Social Justice is a huge movement right now. I love how much effort is being put into this idea of equality. However, sometimes, we push so hard for rights, that we begin to stamp on other people in the process. Is it truly equality if you begin to put one person's needs above another's?

    Now, let's talk about same-sex attraction. There is a small percentage of people that fall into this category that has been measured roughly between 5 and 10% from different studies. Though the percentage may seem small, that is actually a lot of people with those feelings! Further studies debate whether these feelings come from birth or are developed. While there aren't conclusive answers yet, most studies suggest that it's a combination of the two. There is also an understanding that sexual orientation is not rigid. It can change and alter.

    Before anyone bites my head off, I want to note that just because orientation can change doesn't mean you have to change. I hold no anger or reservations towards anyone who wishes to pursue relationships with their same gender. In fact, I have a number of friends that have pursued this and I have nothing but love for them. However, some people do want to change out of their own accord, standards, and desires.

    Sexual orientation is not something you can just switch like a light switch. It is very much engrained in your being. So, if it is so hard to change, why do people want to? Why not just sit back and embrace it? I turn to the example of a young man I once met. When I met him, he told me he believed God wanted him to have his own family. He wanted to be a father and wanted to marry a woman. He was attracted to other men, but he wanted something different in his marriage. He began a very long and lonely journey to reach this goal.

    Why was it lonely? Don't we have so much support available for members of the LGBTQ? Yes, we do! But, we don't have support for people who want to change their orientation to opposite-gender attraction. Anyone who seeks to help these people are viewed as evil, trying to change someone's identity or manipulate someone out of who they are meant to be. People that try to help are bullied and threatened. There used to be therapists that would address this sort of thing, but out of fear, many have refused to continue with that kind of practice.

    Is it evil to want to help someone change their sexual orientation? Absolutely not! Of course, it would be a completely different story to try to maliciously persuade someone that they should change. But what about those people who want to change but don't know how? Should we leave them at the side of the road saying, "You're supposed to be okay with who you are. Deal with it. You're homophobic of yourself!"

    It is our responsibility to serve our fellow man. We should be supportive of all needs and not just the ones that are socially accepted. Let us go forward with love rather than a pickiness of who deserves to be admired. We all have strengths and weaknesses. We all want to become someone. Instead of walking on eggshells, lets sweep them away and let everyone make the change they want to make.